Often in my practice, I hear from parents, teachers, neighbors, and even police officers who are frustrated with a child who just won't do what he or she is told.  "It doesnt' matter what I say or do, he never listens..."

She's constantly in trouble at school for not doing her work, talking, and disrupting the classroom...He's always interrupting with unimportant things...I'll tell her to do something then she turns around and does whatever she feels like doing...He's always breaking things and tearing stuff apart...But, she can sit and play a video game for hours at a time...Those parents just need to make that child behave...

While often these statements would typically mean a child is misbehaving, an ongoing pattern of these types of behaviors can be warning flags for a diagnosis of ADHD.  

ADHD id short for Attention Deficit hyperactivity Disorder-a diagnosis whose main symptoms are inattention and/or hyperactivity, and impulsive behaviors that are more common and frequent than you would typically see in a child of the same age.  Two year-olds are expected to forget things, run around the house and not think through the consequences of their behaviors.  Ten year-olds are not.

ADHD is a medical disorder in which a child (or adult) has areas of low activity in their brains.  In order to help "jump-start" brains into more activity, children with ADHS often are more physically active to the point they seem like they are driven by a motor.  Bedtime often can be ongoing rounds of rolling and bouncing around; getting our of bed; asking ridiculous questions; sneaking toys; requests for drinks; food, items or to do forgotten tasks from the day, and on and on until the parent is worn out and the child finally falls over from exhaustion.  

Often with their head on the footboard one hand on the floor, and feet sprawled in different directions, these children will bounce around in and out of their seats in the classroom and have a difficult time sitting still (unless watching tv or playing video games which provide brain stimulation).  Homework can be a nightmare.

Sometimes children with ADHD don't have the symptom of hyperactivity.  With these children, the symptoms of ADHD may be more subtle and difficult to diagnose.  They will seek to increase their brain's activity levels in other ways such as creating conflict or dwelling on dark depressing thoughts.  Both are stimulating for the brain.  Yelling at a child with ADHD can actually become addictive and result in the child seeking it more frequently.  Unfortunately, these children tend to not notice the effects it has on their relationships with others.

ADHD behaviors are biologically driven and often done unconsciously.  Most children want to behave.  Without proper treatment, children with ADHD simply can't.  

• These children are very impulsive.  They frequently are unable to think about the consequences of their actions.  They will hit, grab, throw, break items, blurt out, and interrupt without thinking.  This impulsivity is often mistaken for a voluntary act.
  
• In an attempt to be good, they often learn the skill to look you in the eye and agree with what you are saying even when they haven't "caught" the information.  This can be very misleading.  When asked to repeat what you just told them a typical answer is "be good" regardless of what was actually said.  Since they give the appearance of listening, they are often perceived as defiant.
• They don't always have the physical ability for self-control and don't necessarily realize it, so they will agree to do things they cannot. 
• Since it is difficult to stay still, they will walk around, roll, climb, run wander, etc.  Insisting the sit still will often result in worse behaviors , since it slows brain activity further.  
• Sometimes a child may be able to focus with the less rigorous demands of home, but struggle in school where they have to sit still and concentrate for longer periods of time.  Sometimes the symptoms are present in all situations.
• Memory is often impaired.  They will forget things instantly, in moments, or after weeks of knowing it.  It often looks like they are lying or making up stories when asked about things.
• They tend to want to be the ones in control.
• A trigger for poor behavior is often being told "NO".

If you are raising a child, or know a child who may have some of the signs of ADHD, seek help.  Educate yourself on this disorder and seek a professional who works with children with ADHD.  Sometimes it is difficult to separate ADHD from other childhood diagnoses.  A skilled professional will be abel to do this as well as answer you questions an doffer treatment strategies to help you child and you heal and have a healthy and harmonious life.

Article Written by Chantelle Grant, LCSW